Am I ready???

So with only 47 days to go I wonder am I ready for all the madness that is about to go down?? I mean I know I have the essentials but am I ready for the sleepless nights(not that I am not already having them). I took my breastfeeding class the other day an I know it will be a rough few days getting on schedule with the baby and I know I can do it. I just have to push through it an do it. The only part that worried me was when she told me that the first few nights the baby maybe up every hour to feed....oy vey!!! I can do it though I know I can. 


I also hope that I am ready to handle labor!!!! I know that it will be painful I mean its a baby coming out of my cookie. I do want to go drug free an I plan on living up to that. I just have to literally push through the pain. As I was talking to my mother last night about what do I need to pack in my hospital bag an she was like you need something to focus on. I was like what in the heck am I going to use. I mean hang a shot of whiskey an a piece of sushi on a stick an tell me as soon as the baby is out that is all mine an I will focus for sure...Just kidding but really give me some sushi an I will push harder an focus.


Last thing I wonder if I am ready for is just being a mom. I mean will I have that mom look. I know that sounds weird but I mean its how I feel. Will he know that I am his mom an will he call me mom or will he call me Aunt B. I mean I have so many thoughts running through my head its crazy. I still feel like I have so much that needs to be done in these last 40 plus days but honestly everything is almost done. I need to just chill out rest an relax till he gets here. I hope that my family is ready. I know they are but its been a while since we had a little one around. I know they will be a solid rock for me to lean on. 


So here's to my last 47 day an just taking time to really enjoy the last few moments of my pregnancy. I have said it before an I will say it again. This isn't the way I planned on having a baby but I know God had a reason for me to be pregnant at this time in my life. I wish his father could experience this with me however he made this choice an it is his child he will never know. I know being a single mother will be hard but I mean I had the greatest teacher to show me how it is done in my own mother. Mom I will need you help so much an I am so glad that you will be there every step of the way.