A letter to Rhett

Rhett,


This is a letter to tell you about how much your have made 2011 be the best year of my life. It seems just like yesterday mommy found out that I was going to have you. I was filled with joy an also nervous. I remember the first time I saw you in the ultrasound. You were so small but you were perfect. Every moment you made inside me was wonderful, even the times you were acting like a gymnast. I want you to know that even know you were to stubborn to come out of mommy the right way I will endure those 30 plus hours again. I will never forget the moment when I heard you cry. I always thought why do people cry when their baby is born, well now I know. Its a moment that your mommy will never forget. Watching you grow these last 9 weeks has been something that I will always cherish forever an ever. 


As you grow over the next year I only hope that you will continue to be a blessing to me an your family. I look forward to seeing you walk an talk. I can't wait to celebrate your first birthday. I also hope you an I will have many adventures in 2012 an beyond. Rhett I don't know if you will ever read this but always remember one thing....Mommy loves you!!!!

Introducing Rhett Jaxson Capers

Well he finally arrived at 4:53pm on 10-27-11. I have never felt so much joy an love for someone in my life. I now feel like I am complete. I will never forget that moment that I heard him cry in that operating room. I never knew why people cried when babies were born but I do now. I had the biggest tears of joy that day. While my labor was long an sometimes painful I would not trade it for a minute for the little angel that is sleeping right now. He is perfect. I couldn't ask for a better baby. He wakes up once at night an he hardly every cries other than when he is hungry. He is also like his mom in the fact that he would like to just be naked some days. Nothing wrong with that in my book. 


So I have to thank some people for helping my labor be a fun an enjoyable experience. First Tonya, thanks so much for hanging out with us. I can't wait for Rhett to get older an play him the videos that we made in the hospital. The interviews are classic an he will probably be embarrassed when he sees them. I know hanging out in a hospital isn't so fun but we sure made it fun. Its nice to have friends like you who will always be there no matter what. 


Next Megan. Thanks for being my birthing coach an always being there as a nurse or doctor was violating me. Also thanks for staying the night with me after Rhett was born so mom could get some rest an I was able to sleep as well. Not to many people would have done that but you are the best sister in law ever. Thanks for everything that you did to make my stay easier.


Last but not least mom. I couldn't have made it without you. Your crazy hospital outfits made me laugh. I can't wait till Rhett sees you in the video one day. Thanks so much for being there with me when he took his first breath. It means the world to me to know that you were there an supported me the whole time. I will never forget the moment you showed him to me. That is a moment that I will never forget. I can never thank you enough for all the love an support that you have shown me during this time. You are the best mom ever. I hope I can be just like you.


So no life with a newborn begins. So far it has been amazing. I love seeing him learn something new everyday. I am truly blessed right now an I have never been this over the moon about a boy. I will keep everyone informed of how my little boy is doing. Thanks again to everyone who made my pregnancy a great time. Now its time to make mommmyhood fun.

D-Day!!!!

Well tomorrow is the day when hopefully my little angel Rhett arrives. I am so nervous an excited. I mean in maybe 24 hours he will be here and I will be a mom. I do hope that when they induce that everything goes well. I pray for a smooth delivery an hopefully with not to much pain. 


I really can't believe that this is happening. I mean I know that I have been ready for the past month to have this baby but now that it is time I am freaking out. I know I am ready an I know everything will be ok. It feels like just yesterday I took a test an my life changed in 3 minutes. I know that Rhett is a gift from God an that I am meant to have him. 


I can't thank everyone enough for all the support an gifts that I have gotten during this pregnancy. I am so glad that I decided to come back to Bristol from Austin. I miss Texas but nothing compares to friends an family. So speaking of family, John an Megan you guys have no idea how much you have meant to me during all this. I couldn't have asked for a better brother an sister in law. I know that you guys will be the best aunt an uncle ever. I love you guys an we will all welcome Rhett together. Uncle Robert, even though you can't read this I want to thank you. You have done way to much for Rhett an I. You are already spoiling him an he's not here yet. I love you an you are the best uncle ever!! To Payton, you have come such a long ways from telling me you hated me to hugging an kissing my belly every night before you go to sleep. You will be the best big cousin ever. I know that Rhett will love you just as much as I do. Hope you don't teach him to many bad habits like I taught you. Last but not least mom. You have been my rock through all this. You were there in the high times an you were there with the break downs. I am so thankful you are my mom. I don't think I could have ever done this without you. I hope I am half the mom to Rhett that you were to me. If I am I know he will be raised right. I never thought that I would be a single mom but I know that you had the strength to do it an showed me the way to raise a child right.  Mom I love you, you are my rock!


So guys hopefully this time tomorrow I will have my baby boy. I can't wait to start this adventure an I know it will take a village in the beginning. So I will keep everyone updated. 


Beck

Am I ready???

So with only 47 days to go I wonder am I ready for all the madness that is about to go down?? I mean I know I have the essentials but am I ready for the sleepless nights(not that I am not already having them). I took my breastfeeding class the other day an I know it will be a rough few days getting on schedule with the baby and I know I can do it. I just have to push through it an do it. The only part that worried me was when she told me that the first few nights the baby maybe up every hour to feed....oy vey!!! I can do it though I know I can. 


I also hope that I am ready to handle labor!!!! I know that it will be painful I mean its a baby coming out of my cookie. I do want to go drug free an I plan on living up to that. I just have to literally push through the pain. As I was talking to my mother last night about what do I need to pack in my hospital bag an she was like you need something to focus on. I was like what in the heck am I going to use. I mean hang a shot of whiskey an a piece of sushi on a stick an tell me as soon as the baby is out that is all mine an I will focus for sure...Just kidding but really give me some sushi an I will push harder an focus.


Last thing I wonder if I am ready for is just being a mom. I mean will I have that mom look. I know that sounds weird but I mean its how I feel. Will he know that I am his mom an will he call me mom or will he call me Aunt B. I mean I have so many thoughts running through my head its crazy. I still feel like I have so much that needs to be done in these last 40 plus days but honestly everything is almost done. I need to just chill out rest an relax till he gets here. I hope that my family is ready. I know they are but its been a while since we had a little one around. I know they will be a solid rock for me to lean on. 


So here's to my last 47 day an just taking time to really enjoy the last few moments of my pregnancy. I have said it before an I will say it again. This isn't the way I planned on having a baby but I know God had a reason for me to be pregnant at this time in my life. I wish his father could experience this with me however he made this choice an it is his child he will never know. I know being a single mother will be hard but I mean I had the greatest teacher to show me how it is done in my own mother. Mom I will need you help so much an I am so glad that you will be there every step of the way.

Something a little different today

So I don't know who reads this an I hope I don't hurt any feelings however I need to get some things out an writing helps. First of all I feel I need to apologize for being pregnant. I didn't know an I was unaware that I have offended people. I am sorry. However I thought that we lived in a world where its best for me to keep my son an doing this alone an not have an abortion. I guess I was in a damned if I do damned if I don't situation.So again I am sorry for being pregnant an not married. I know its wrong according to the bible an I have to live with that consequence everyday. I don't need to feel more ashamed by people judging me an making me feel worse. I know what I have done is wrong just thought that I didn't have to wear a scarlet letter.


However, I love my son an I can't wait for him to get here so he an I can take on all the haters together. I will show people that I can do this an that I WILL be a good mother. I wear my baby belly proud an I am NOT ashamed of it. I KNOW that there is a reason that God allowed me to have this baby. If people don't believe that then there is something wrong with them. Baby's are a miracle from God an I believe that. I know what the bible says an I respect that but I can't stand being judged by other who need to look inward at themselves.


I don't know who will read this but it feels good to let this out. I hope one day that I will be able to get over what has happen recently but I WILL hold my head up an I WILL overcome.


B

The final countdown

Well its down to 8 weeks to go. I am getting more excited an more nervous at the same time. I am getting more anxious for labor an even more anxious about being a mom. I just hope I am a good mom an that this little boy will know how much I already love him an how much he is already loved. I have theses ideas of being this super cool mom an who know if they will come true or not. 


I am glad that we have gotten Rhett's room all ready to go. Hope he loves the monkeys as much as I do. They are just so cute!!! Ready to have my first shower in 2 weeks. I don't really know what to expect I do know that it will be a good time with friends an family. I feel like things are really coming to a close now. Plus every time I have a Braxton Hicks contraction I kinda freak out an wonder is this it?? Is he ready to come?? He can't come yet its too early!!! Then it goes away an I am relieved. 


I also want to let my brother an sister in law know how happy I am that they have moved to Liberty County. It is going to be great for RJ to have Uncle J an Aunt Megan so close.  Also Payton is getting really excited for Rhett to get here. I just hope after the first night of the baby crying he is still excited to have a cousin. I think he will be just fine an he will love his cousin so so so much!!!!


So as I look back on the past 32 weeks it has been a challenge but one I took on full throttle. I was in such shock when I found out I was pregnant. I didn't know what to do who to tell an I was just shocked. I was so worried what people would think about me an wondered if I let my family down. I now know that this little boy is my miracle baby an I couldn't imagine my life with out him. I just hope that my family knows how much I appreciate everything they have done. From moving me back home from Texas to just helping out with putting the crib together. You guys rock an I love you all so much.


Beck

The end is near

So as I sit here today with my baby boy rolling around in my belly I am so grateful. I can't believe that I can finally see him move to where I can tell what body part is moving. He is getting so big an while it may be uncomfortable I wouldn't trade for anything. I can't wait until that moment comes when my eyes meet his.


While this pregnancy has been an emotional adventure for me it has also been the greatest journey of my life. I can't believe in about 10 weeks or so I will be a mom. I mean if being a aunt is this fulfilling then being a mom is going to make my cup runneth over. I do have to say that its only natural that I wonder if I will be a good mom an if my son will like me. I also wonder who he will look like. I know that it took two people to make him an while that other person isn't there I know he could look just like time. Not going to lie, I don't want that to happen but its not up to me its up to the good Lord.


This week brings a HUGE shout out to Uncle Robert. I can't think him enough for what he has done for me an what he has already spoiled Rhett when. I am overwhelmed by all that he has gone. I know a lot of it is cause I storm the beaches of Normandy daily for the family. However I also know its cause he wants to. Right now I couldn't ask for a better mother, brother, sister in law, nephew an uncle. You guys an Rhett is what gets me through everyday. I hope that one day soon my family will be back to the tight group we once we're but if not I know I always have you guys.


So in closing an as Rhett decides he is going to move all the way to the right side. I hope that the next few weeks don't take to much of a toll on my body. I look forward to baby showers an then the arrival of my lil man. I will try to write again soon (should be easier now that Payton is in school). So thanks for reading.


Beck

Third Trimester

So I have finally made it to my third trimester. While I have so enjoyed the beauty of being pregnant I am so ready to get this little guy out an meet him. It feels like just yesterday that I found out I was pregnant an I was so overjoyed. Now that joy comes with hurting back, swollen feet, aching bones and just being tired. However it is worth every minute to know that I am creating a beautiful baby boy.


Now that the pregnancy is coming to an end I know God has big plans for me an this baby. I know in the beginning I didn't know why God was doing something, but over the past few months things have to come me. The good Lord has provided my needs in a way I never knew he could. I know I couldn't have done half the things without my family. My mother has been the best!!! I couldn't have made it through this time without her being there. There was those days that I just had a melt down an her words would make it all better. To John an Megan you guys are awesome too. You guys will make a great aunt an uncle team, as long as we don't call him RJ. Plus Payton he wasn't least than thrilled when I told him I was pregnant. However he has came full circle. He can't wait for the baby to get here now. He is always hugging an kissing my belly.


So I have 11 weeks an 5 days left. I hope to enjoy these last few months an take it easy. Before long it will be diapers an feedings an I CAN'T WAIT!!! Hopefully I will remember to blog before he comes.


Beck

Long hot summer

So I know there is still 17 weeks till the baby comes but it has already been one hot summer. I have never been this hot in my entire life. I swear I would love to live an sleep in a ice bath. Thats not going to happen but it sure would be nice. I did reach my limit on the heat when I went to church camp with Payton. I thought I would die with my feet swelling and with all the drama. It has been the first time since I have been pregnant that I just sat an cried every night. It was a week of hell but its all over an it has made me stronger in some weird way.

On to the good stuff baby Rhett is doing great. He is kicking harder an harder an he seems to be a night owl. However Meme thinks he doesn't like her. She just needs to calm down cause he is going to love his Meme. Its so cool feeling him kick, it makes me finally feel like I am pregnant an having a baby. I cant wait for the next 17 weeks to be up an then him be here.

Well until next time
Beck

HALF WAY THERE!!!!!!

So I am half way there!!!!! It seems like I have been pregnant for a while but I still have a while to go. Some things have changed so much over the past 20 weeks an some things haven't changed at all. One of the biggest changes is my belly. I have never been this heavy in my whole life but its all worth it when I feel my little boy kick me. One other change is my taste in food. Now I liked chicken wings before I was pregnant but now I could eat chicken wings for breakfast, lunch an dinner. I can't get enough of them. Speaking of them makes me want to go an get some. 

I have to thank my mother. She has been amazing through all of this. I couldn't have done this without her support. I also want to thank my brother an sister in law. Those two have helped so much already, I couldn't have scanned my baby registry's without them. Last but not least, Payton. I know he wasn't happy at all when I told him he was going to have a cousin. He has came around so much in these last few weeks. I just want him to always remember that just cause Aunt B is having a baby I am still going to love him like crazy too.

So 20 more weeks to go. I can't wait for Rhett Jaxson to get here. I can't wait for the baby showers. I pray that God continues to provide just like he has done for so long now.

So until next time....

Here we go...

Well here we go....I have never blogged before but I thought to myself, "hey your pregnant why not let people know what your going through." So here goes. I am 15 weeks an so excited. Can't wait for little Tilly Rose or Rhett Jaxson to come in to the world. It seems like November 8th will never get here. However the first 15 weeks have flown by. Granted this isn't how I wanted to have a baby but this child is a blessing from God. So hopefully next week we can tell what I am having. I want a boy but I will be over the moon no matter what. Well this is the first of many blogs to come. I hope that I can continue this until after the baby is born.