Something a little different today

So I don't know who reads this an I hope I don't hurt any feelings however I need to get some things out an writing helps. First of all I feel I need to apologize for being pregnant. I didn't know an I was unaware that I have offended people. I am sorry. However I thought that we lived in a world where its best for me to keep my son an doing this alone an not have an abortion. I guess I was in a damned if I do damned if I don't situation.So again I am sorry for being pregnant an not married. I know its wrong according to the bible an I have to live with that consequence everyday. I don't need to feel more ashamed by people judging me an making me feel worse. I know what I have done is wrong just thought that I didn't have to wear a scarlet letter.


However, I love my son an I can't wait for him to get here so he an I can take on all the haters together. I will show people that I can do this an that I WILL be a good mother. I wear my baby belly proud an I am NOT ashamed of it. I KNOW that there is a reason that God allowed me to have this baby. If people don't believe that then there is something wrong with them. Baby's are a miracle from God an I believe that. I know what the bible says an I respect that but I can't stand being judged by other who need to look inward at themselves.


I don't know who will read this but it feels good to let this out. I hope one day that I will be able to get over what has happen recently but I WILL hold my head up an I WILL overcome.


B

The final countdown

Well its down to 8 weeks to go. I am getting more excited an more nervous at the same time. I am getting more anxious for labor an even more anxious about being a mom. I just hope I am a good mom an that this little boy will know how much I already love him an how much he is already loved. I have theses ideas of being this super cool mom an who know if they will come true or not. 


I am glad that we have gotten Rhett's room all ready to go. Hope he loves the monkeys as much as I do. They are just so cute!!! Ready to have my first shower in 2 weeks. I don't really know what to expect I do know that it will be a good time with friends an family. I feel like things are really coming to a close now. Plus every time I have a Braxton Hicks contraction I kinda freak out an wonder is this it?? Is he ready to come?? He can't come yet its too early!!! Then it goes away an I am relieved. 


I also want to let my brother an sister in law know how happy I am that they have moved to Liberty County. It is going to be great for RJ to have Uncle J an Aunt Megan so close.  Also Payton is getting really excited for Rhett to get here. I just hope after the first night of the baby crying he is still excited to have a cousin. I think he will be just fine an he will love his cousin so so so much!!!!


So as I look back on the past 32 weeks it has been a challenge but one I took on full throttle. I was in such shock when I found out I was pregnant. I didn't know what to do who to tell an I was just shocked. I was so worried what people would think about me an wondered if I let my family down. I now know that this little boy is my miracle baby an I couldn't imagine my life with out him. I just hope that my family knows how much I appreciate everything they have done. From moving me back home from Texas to just helping out with putting the crib together. You guys rock an I love you all so much.


Beck

The end is near

So as I sit here today with my baby boy rolling around in my belly I am so grateful. I can't believe that I can finally see him move to where I can tell what body part is moving. He is getting so big an while it may be uncomfortable I wouldn't trade for anything. I can't wait until that moment comes when my eyes meet his.


While this pregnancy has been an emotional adventure for me it has also been the greatest journey of my life. I can't believe in about 10 weeks or so I will be a mom. I mean if being a aunt is this fulfilling then being a mom is going to make my cup runneth over. I do have to say that its only natural that I wonder if I will be a good mom an if my son will like me. I also wonder who he will look like. I know that it took two people to make him an while that other person isn't there I know he could look just like time. Not going to lie, I don't want that to happen but its not up to me its up to the good Lord.


This week brings a HUGE shout out to Uncle Robert. I can't think him enough for what he has done for me an what he has already spoiled Rhett when. I am overwhelmed by all that he has gone. I know a lot of it is cause I storm the beaches of Normandy daily for the family. However I also know its cause he wants to. Right now I couldn't ask for a better mother, brother, sister in law, nephew an uncle. You guys an Rhett is what gets me through everyday. I hope that one day soon my family will be back to the tight group we once we're but if not I know I always have you guys.


So in closing an as Rhett decides he is going to move all the way to the right side. I hope that the next few weeks don't take to much of a toll on my body. I look forward to baby showers an then the arrival of my lil man. I will try to write again soon (should be easier now that Payton is in school). So thanks for reading.


Beck

Third Trimester

So I have finally made it to my third trimester. While I have so enjoyed the beauty of being pregnant I am so ready to get this little guy out an meet him. It feels like just yesterday that I found out I was pregnant an I was so overjoyed. Now that joy comes with hurting back, swollen feet, aching bones and just being tired. However it is worth every minute to know that I am creating a beautiful baby boy.


Now that the pregnancy is coming to an end I know God has big plans for me an this baby. I know in the beginning I didn't know why God was doing something, but over the past few months things have to come me. The good Lord has provided my needs in a way I never knew he could. I know I couldn't have done half the things without my family. My mother has been the best!!! I couldn't have made it through this time without her being there. There was those days that I just had a melt down an her words would make it all better. To John an Megan you guys are awesome too. You guys will make a great aunt an uncle team, as long as we don't call him RJ. Plus Payton he wasn't least than thrilled when I told him I was pregnant. However he has came full circle. He can't wait for the baby to get here now. He is always hugging an kissing my belly.


So I have 11 weeks an 5 days left. I hope to enjoy these last few months an take it easy. Before long it will be diapers an feedings an I CAN'T WAIT!!! Hopefully I will remember to blog before he comes.


Beck

Long hot summer

So I know there is still 17 weeks till the baby comes but it has already been one hot summer. I have never been this hot in my entire life. I swear I would love to live an sleep in a ice bath. Thats not going to happen but it sure would be nice. I did reach my limit on the heat when I went to church camp with Payton. I thought I would die with my feet swelling and with all the drama. It has been the first time since I have been pregnant that I just sat an cried every night. It was a week of hell but its all over an it has made me stronger in some weird way.

On to the good stuff baby Rhett is doing great. He is kicking harder an harder an he seems to be a night owl. However Meme thinks he doesn't like her. She just needs to calm down cause he is going to love his Meme. Its so cool feeling him kick, it makes me finally feel like I am pregnant an having a baby. I cant wait for the next 17 weeks to be up an then him be here.

Well until next time
Beck

HALF WAY THERE!!!!!!

So I am half way there!!!!! It seems like I have been pregnant for a while but I still have a while to go. Some things have changed so much over the past 20 weeks an some things haven't changed at all. One of the biggest changes is my belly. I have never been this heavy in my whole life but its all worth it when I feel my little boy kick me. One other change is my taste in food. Now I liked chicken wings before I was pregnant but now I could eat chicken wings for breakfast, lunch an dinner. I can't get enough of them. Speaking of them makes me want to go an get some. 

I have to thank my mother. She has been amazing through all of this. I couldn't have done this without her support. I also want to thank my brother an sister in law. Those two have helped so much already, I couldn't have scanned my baby registry's without them. Last but not least, Payton. I know he wasn't happy at all when I told him he was going to have a cousin. He has came around so much in these last few weeks. I just want him to always remember that just cause Aunt B is having a baby I am still going to love him like crazy too.

So 20 more weeks to go. I can't wait for Rhett Jaxson to get here. I can't wait for the baby showers. I pray that God continues to provide just like he has done for so long now.

So until next time....

Here we go...

Well here we go....I have never blogged before but I thought to myself, "hey your pregnant why not let people know what your going through." So here goes. I am 15 weeks an so excited. Can't wait for little Tilly Rose or Rhett Jaxson to come in to the world. It seems like November 8th will never get here. However the first 15 weeks have flown by. Granted this isn't how I wanted to have a baby but this child is a blessing from God. So hopefully next week we can tell what I am having. I want a boy but I will be over the moon no matter what. Well this is the first of many blogs to come. I hope that I can continue this until after the baby is born.